Why should one apologise?
How should
one apologise?
Should we
have an "Apologising day" like all other days?
Well here is
my take on that! - Prevention is always better than cure!
Always
ensure you don't get into a situation where you need to apologise. I know - its
easier said than done, but don't worry at all - sometimes the best of us make
mistakes and the age old saying of :
"To
err is human - to forgive is divine!"
However,
even this is easier said than done. One can apologise and offer their regret,
But, until the two people involved communicate with each other - there is no
way to move forward.
Be it Salman
Khan who doesn't want to apologise for his uttering the comments not befitting
of a star like him, or one friend saying or doing something that may have
caused great harm to the other friend.
One thing is
for sure - Apologies should be accepted only if sincere - Another reason for
having a forgiving attitude is so that it is always good to be the bigger
person - and by accepting the apology and ensuring that the Apologising person
is given a chance to become a better person.
However the
other course that is becoming increasingly popular in India is of demanding an
apology - which is in totally in contrast to the meaning of apologise.
According to
the Cambridge dictionary - apologise means "to tell someone
that you are sorry for
having done something that has caused problems or unhappiness for them"
And sorry
means "feeling sadness, sympathy, or disappointment, especially because something unpleasant has happened or been done"
So in other
words - if the opposite person feels bad about it and disappointed for the act or omission then it makes sense to accept or tender such
apologies - but if the person who allegedly wronged is neither remorseful nor
regretful of his acts or omissions - then why apologise at all.
Forgiveness
is a very strong emotional form of love, it takes a strong person to say SORRY
and an even stronger person to FORGIVE.
People who
make the mistake - really feel bad - if they love the person whom they have
wronged unknowingly or unintentionally. They feel bad because they made the
person whom they care about so much - unbelievably sad.
Invisible
Tears of sorrow cross the face and they sincerely wish they didn't do what they
did and are even willing, if possible, to take their loved one's place and
solve it for them - alas - role play is only for theatre :)
To be in
such a situation is a curse in itself and probably one of the times when not responding to an apology is a BIG PUNISHMENT in itself.
"I am
sorry" --------------------------- is a statement.
"I
won't do it again"------------------- is a promise.
"How do
I make it up to you" ------- is a responsibility.
I do not
know the perfect way to apologise - but I know one thing for sure - to
apologise and make up if you really think that person is important for you in
your life.
If Salman
Khan cares for the thousands of women who felt bad about what their favourite
star has quoted - he will apologise - if he thinks they aren't important for
them - he won't apologise. Simple!
As someone I
know closely and respect a lot once said - don't think about the past, don't
worry about the future - just live in the present... and always be happy.
Finally - on
the issue of whether we need an Apologising Day / Sorry Day - its an
interesting marketing idea for Archies and Hallmark to exploit - but until then
no day is a bad day to say sorry to someone you love and care about - be it
Salman Khan or me...
So - - - A
big Sorry - if this didn't make sense at all :):):) - just an honest attempt at
the logic behind saying sorry and the immense divinity in forgiving people we
care about.
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