Why this Arranged kolaveri D?

Says Sali in “Yahoo Answers” as below

I disagree with arranged marriages, because when I was 18 I was being forced to marry. I refused as I didn't want to marry a guy who I didn't know. 

I ended up running away from home and needless to say I was disowned by my family.

It was a tough and lonely time but I at least have my freedom and am engaged to a great guy who I chose and love. 

Arranged marriages rarely work, some may do by chance or if the individuals involved got some say in who they married. The people who support these marriages turn a blind eye to the fact that divorce is frowned upon in their culture, so couples remain unhappily together while the husband cheats - I’ve known of many marriages where the husband cheats quite openly, the wife accepts it as divorce would leave them destitute and in shame. So that's why the divorce rate is low.

You can't force two people to fall in love with each other, it's unfair and an infringement of their human rights to find their own partner.

So the whole concept of arranged marriages is abhorrent to me and is very outdated.

The girl above is just plain lucky to have found someone who loves her so deeply and she has the confidence that he will take care of her forever. I do not totally agree with what Sali has to say but I do understand her point of view. Like her I too am always surprised at the beauty or shall we say miraculous effect of an arranged marriage. How does it work? Why do people make it work? What is it in an arranged marriage that both husband and wife stay bound to each other in spite of the lack of love…”love” at least as we see it in modern day.

In most cases of arranged marriage, u will be surprised to know that there is no exchange of the three golden words “I love you” ever in an entire life time. But do words hold more importance than actual practice. I believe not…though the parents search for the spouse for their kids, they do it with their kids in mind and in almost all cases (at least in the cities) with their consent.

This culture of arranged marriage may seem strange for the western world but for the Indian subcontinent, it is routine and it works well because here the parents take care of their children until they are alive…the parents-kids bond is so strong that major decisions in life are taken together by parents and kids and irrespective of love or arranged marriage taking each other’s consent becomes imperative…

But my ramblings might sound like a contradiction as it started off by questioning the actual institution of arranged marriage. Sometimes there may be compromise in the beginning of an arranged marital life, but where is it that there is no compromise…in fact in love marriages compromises start even before the actual marriage happens because the ones in love need to please the families of their partner and behave in accordance with each other’s family values and traditions.

According to me, there are only  two kinds of marriages…contrary to popular belief they are not love and arranged!!!

But they are:

[A] marriages with love in it          &         [B] marriages without love in it.  

Those marriages with love in it will survive the test of time and those without will not…it hardly matters whether it was an arranged or love marriage!!!

But I leave you with a question for which the answer will follow in part 2 to this …

“Do people who cannot select a bride / groom for themselves use this arranged marriage system to hook themselves up AND are some people who are ineligible for marriage on various counts exploiting this arranged marital system to their advantage and in turn spoiling lives of their spouses?

To be continued…