Someone asked me this very important question - Why should
someone lie?
That prompted me to ask some questions and I started a small
journey to see for myself what is true and what is not!
Is it that bad to lie? Is saying the truth always the best
way forward?
Is saying the truth the only simple way forward?
So I went about listing some situations when lying is good
- When
we are delaying the inevitable:
At times, this may involve lying to
a child. If a kid's mother was suffering from cancer I would say she is not
well, or if she was killed in a not so nice to understand manner, I'd just lie
to the kid and say she was in an accident. The child’s brain has yet to understand
how to digest ghastly incidents and that in almost all cases, it's just better
to gloss things over. Explanations can always be given at a more appropriate age
for the kid.
- When
we prevent harm:
Ex-hypothesi - a terrorist asks me
if I'm Indian, I'm gonna start muttering in Sinhalese or Bengali and try to
say I am not an Indian.
Similarly I know several people who
lie about their region to ensure no harm is caused – some lie about their
religion, some lie about their marital status – to prevent harm for themselves or to get accomodation - Makaan - one of the basic necessities of life along with Roti and Kapda!
- When
it’s a question of national security.
Sorry, I don't want RAW or the
three forces or the I B or Defence or Home Ministry mentioning only the truth
in public. I would like them to be lying except to the Cabinet / Parliament and
the Prime Minister and President).
- To
make certain comfort through specific social circumstances.
I have a huge reputation amongst my
friends and family as being callously truthful.
When I get gifts (a friend gifted me some European tea, and I
said, "You are delightful and appreciate your gesture, but I won't lie. I
don’t drink tea," and thus, my friends know I won't beat around things and
they come to me for honest solutions) or when my opinion is solicited (my aunt invested time and energy painting a
bedroom a horrible shade of green, she asked everybody, and they said,
"Oh, it's wonderful," when she asked me, I said, "Aunty. It's not
cool. Get someone to sponge a bit over the paint with some white; it'll look
better may be…" She appreciated my honesty and took the advice).
But there are some situations, similar
to those we discussed in the first case about the children, where family
members are kept away from the truth just to ensure sanity in their lives as
well as ours. A best example is when a father doesn’t tell his grown up son how
much loan he owes the bank, just to ensure he doesn’t get stressed out and
change his career plans. Another example is when a student bunks college and
goes home and acts as if everything is normal and he was in the college whole
day long. A good student definitely shares with his parents when they are in
the right mood and doesn’t make a habit out of it. Similarly – there are stuff
the husbands don’t tell wives about (may be a lot) and wives don’t tell husbands
about ( may be little lesser in our country J)
and when enquired about such secretive stuff – the inevitable lie or snub comes
around. This is to ensure parity in the living circumstances…but is this the
right way? I am no one to judge or infer – it is just a gentle banter to show
that LIFE DOESN’T GET COMPLICATED JUST BECAUSE WE DON’T BE BRUTALLY HONEST. And
life is not simple when we are brutally honest either!
Apprehensions shouldn’t run our
life – isn’t it?
As David Wolfe says – “…Create as many passionate, happy moments as possible – Don’t let anyone
stop you from doing the things you love – not even yourself.”
I love
the last three words – Not even yourself.
Once you grow up and are in your
thirties – there are so many social barriers and constraints to do what you
like in life – please try and ensure YOU DON’T STOP YOURSELF FROM BEING HAPPY.
P.S : an interesting article - not a supporter of the whole piece - but like it in parts..
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/05/when-is-it-ok-to-lie_n_5227369.html -
.
P.S : an interesting article - not a supporter of the whole piece - but like it in parts..
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/05/05/when-is-it-ok-to-lie_n_5227369.html -
.
